


Things Changed

by alison



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Adoption, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-12-05 11:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/pseuds/alison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Louis decide to adopt.</p>
<p>
  <em>Nick never thought he’d be much of a dad. But things changed.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Changed

Nick never thought he’d be much of a dad. He never really felt that instinct that some people get, that voice in his head or that feeling in his bones that having a child would complete him somehow. In fact, he had vowed long ago never to have kids, always knowing that he would be pretty shit at the job.

But things changed. Everything changed. Falling in love, getting married… None of it was what Nick had expected for his life. Louis had softened him, made him think that maybe he could do a lot of things he never thought he could before.

They spent months discussing it. If they would do it, how they would do it, when they would do it. But eventually they decided. They would adopt. And Nick would learn, somehow, how to be a father.

The paperwork and screenings took another several months. It was exhausting. The interviews, the home visits. He was beginning to feel like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, like this dream would never become a reality, when they got a call that a pregnant woman had chosen them. They met with her a few times and she agreed. They were the parents she had chosen.

It never happened, though. They had fallen in love with this fetus, this unborn human being long before it took its first breath. But, immediately after the birth, the mother had changed her mind. She was keeping her son.

It was hard for Nick, who had forced himself open to this, had psyched himself up to the idea of being a father, only to watch it all crumble before him at the last minute.

But the way he felt was nothing compared to the look of devastation on Louis’ face as they were given the news. The look that remained etched into his features as they drove home, as they stood in the furnished nursery, looking around hopelessly.

Nick still had blue paint under his fingernails from touching up the wall color.

-

Nick pushed away his own aching to focus on his husband’s pain. Louis tried not to show how badly he had been cut open by the loss, but it was written across his face every time he passed by the vacant room. Weeks later, Louis was still hurting.

They never said as much out loud, but they had both given up on fatherhood after that day. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, Nick thought. He could get used to the idea of it being just the two of them again. His heart was stubborn in the matter, refusing to let go of notions of playing catch and having extravagant tea parties, but he could get back there.

He just wasn’t sure that Louis could.

-

One day, weeks after the incident, Nick got a call. It was a woman from the adoption agency. She explained to Nick that they had a young mother giving birth at that moment and she hadn’t decided on parents, but she had given the agency the task of choosing. She had decided she didn’t want to make the decision herself. And after what had happened with Nick and Louis, the woman had decided to see if they were still interested in adopting.

Nick’s thoughts were a confusing mess. He wanted to wait until the mom actually had the baby to make sure she wouldn’t change her mind. And could they just adopt a baby they hadn’t grown to love, like they had with the last one? Could they do this so suddenly? And what about their work schedules? Could he take time off right now?

Instead of voicing any of these thoughts, he said only one thing.

“Yes, we’re still interested.”

-

It was a girl, they discovered after arriving at the hospital. A healthy baby girl.

They couldn’t see her for a few hours, but when they finally did, Nick realized he had nothing to worry about. Even though they hadn’t had time to fall in love with her over the past several months, the moment Nick laid eyes on her, he felt like he’d known her forever. Like some part of him had always been waiting for her.

He felt like a dad.

-

When they finally got her home the next day and she had fallen asleep in her crib, Louis frowned at the walls, his hands on his hips.

“We’ll have to repaint.”

Nick came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and casting his eyes toward the crib, still unable to stop looking at her constantly. He tore his eyes away again, kissing Louis’ neck lightly.

“Why do we have to repaint?”

Louis scoffed, shaking his head softly.

“Blue is for boys.”

Nick rolled his eyes, resting his temple against the side of Louis’ head.

“Is my husband really that old-fashioned?” Nick asked softly, smiling into Louis’ hair.

Louis lifted his hands to cover Nick’s, lacing their fingers together. They stood in silence for a while, both staring down at their sleeping daughter.

“I guess we can keep the blue,” Louis said, yawning. “I hate pink anyway.”

-

Later that night, they camped out on the nursery floor, taking turns holding their daughter while the other slept. They were already attached.

At one point, when Louis was holding her and Nick wasn’t quite asleep, he heard him talk to her, his voice softer and sweeter than Nick had ever heard it. He opened his eyes just enough to see that Louis was beaming down at the lightly squirming bundle in his lap.

“Want to hear a story? Yeah? Okay.” He pretended to clear his throat.

“Once upon a time there was a boy. And he met another boy. The other boy was- well, he was kind of rude and sarcastic, but the first boy saw right through him. He saw the kindness and the humour and the generosity. He saw all of the good inside the other boy, the second boy.” Louis shook his head, confused.

“Okay, let’s call them by their names. The first boy, Louis, saw the good in the second boy, Nick. Anyway, they fell in love. And it was the best thing Louis had ever experienced. And I’m pretty sure it was the best thing Nick had ever experienced, too, but you’ll have to ask him about that.”

Louis paused for a moment, smiling warmly down at their daughter.

“After a couple of years, they decided to get married. It wasn’t one of those fairytale weddings like you’re probably picturing, though. Just a handful of people and a judge, but it was still the best day of my- er, Louis’ life. But, even though Louis felt like he had more than he could have ever asked for, he still wanted more. He wanted to be a dad.”

Nick swallowed as he watched Louis interact with the baby effortlessly, like he was born to do this. He was born to be a dad to this little girl.

“It wasn’t easy. I’ll leave out the heartbreak part of the story because you’re probably too young for that. I’ll just say that there were trials and there was pain. And it felt like it was over then, but it wasn’t. Because then you were born. And, through events that can only be explained by the existence of fate, you came into Louis’ and Nick’s lives and you brightened every part of them. You reminded them how to feel hopeful and they’re so grateful to you for that, sweetheart.”

Nick bit his lip as he watched Louis wipe moisture away from his eyes before leaning down to whisper to her.

“He and I, we were always a family. But we were missing something. We weren’t complete.”

Nick could see that Clara had fallen asleep, the soft glow of the nightlight falling over her face as she dozed peacefully. Louis lifted her, holding her against his chest as he rocked back and forth gently.

“You made us whole,” he whispered.

Nick watched Louis rocking Clara back and forth for a minute before he lifted himself up, leaning in close to Louis, his hand resting on the sleeping baby’s back.

“You are the best thing I have ever experienced, Louis Tomlinson. The best thing that ever happened to me.”

He never thought he’d be much of a dad. But things changed.


End file.
